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Juana has Big ASS Hair!

Jen is cranky and won't drink! (peer pressure)

I am loooooopy as crap!

KIll me now....Monty, Jeckles, Franky....how are we all doing so far? STAY AWAKE!


Ok I am blogging for cancer...wanna sponsor me? Kewl.....go over there k?--->

HNT

This Week's HNT is called

"Birthday Suit"

I will be 36 on Saturday!










Click HERE to join the Half Naked Thursday Party!

Being Random...

Is SO much fun...

Unless of course the guy who wants to date you, doesn't get it. *rolling eyes* The phrase "I like mittens" for NO reason at all makes me giggle. I understand that not everyone gets that. However I think I should come with a warning label. NO Bitches, not TOXIC...(I'm toxic I'm slippin' under..lalala) I think that unless you have an odd sense of humor, and don't shock easily you just WON'T get me. You won't think I am funny. You WILL think I am offensive, and "Just Not Attractive". I am OK with that...no really I am.

Let me tell you why... If you do not get my jokes, most likely you don't have a very good sense of humor and I would tire of you, and run along. If you think my hatred of all things German is not a joke, then most likely you are overly sensitive and I will eventually make you cry, leading to me blogging about the whole incident for all to partake in the mocking. Maybe. If you don't think it's amusing when I give you a cute little nickname on my blog, then get over yourself, your name was probably way over-used on the planet anyway, and well...Now at least you are unique SOMEWHERE. If it takes you 15 minutes to chop 1 freakin bell pepper...Wait...That wasn't me...but if it DOES call pampered chef and get a mini chopper. If you don't have a "cool factor" of some sort...Odds are I am NOT going to date you either. If you repeat yourself like rainman when telling me about yourself...Forget it I don't like the beach THAT much mmmmk?

I predict car shows in my future...That is all.

Imagine A Little Cloud...

Why do I do this?

I go out every Thursday night and wake up feeling like I was just run over by an insane German train engineer. (Joke---I mean about the German) It's not because I drink lots of Vodka and cranberry...Well maybe it is...but I would like to pretend that it's REALLY the fact that I only get like 3 hours of sleep. I would have gotten more sleep but the coveted "last song of the night" spot was handed to me on a silver platter, and who am *I* to look a karaoke gift horse in the mouth? So Jen and I stayed later than planned....but not before a boy asked me to dance, and Jen MADE me. Bitch. 

Ok so usually this would be a good thing. However...it was not. His name was Lola...er Michael...and he wore yellow feathers in his hair. OK let's rewind for a moment. Michael is insane. He admits that. He told Jen that when he was 9 years old he was schizophrenic, then jut DECIDED not to be anymore. Wow, if only all wack jobs would do that, the world would be a better place. (Let's start with all my ex's K?) He also frequently sings Fairy Manalow songs like Copacabana. Um yeah...If you are out there, and you are thinking about doing this? DON'T...It's never a good idea unless you are gay. Don't worry though He then told Jen, that he knows he's not gay because he tested that out. Um wow! Michael, Jen, and I have a mutual...um...Friend in common so we felt obligated to talk to him. OK The truth is...I hid, and they found me dammit. So at some point, I hear Mr. Fruit loop say he goes to UCLA(of course...Most insanity is spawned at UCLA). Now, I know I should have just sat there sipping my grape Kool-Aid (OH YEAH!)....but I love UCLA football, so I shout "Go Bruins!" I knew when I said it, that it was a poorly planned idea...Mainly because it wasn't planned. He stops mid sentence and said he hated the bruins, because he watched a football player run over someone. mhm k. So I just shrug at Jen, and he continues to talk about poetry with her. She seems interested so I don't save her. Oh how she will repay in just moments. Our little "Diva In Training" got up to sing 99 red balloons. Right about then I was thinking "RAPTURE NOW!". Not because she was singing, but because I hear these words come out of Jen's mouth. "Debi LOVES to dance" It was like one of those moments that happens in a dream, where you want to run but your legs wont move, and you feel like it's all in slow motion. Michael looked at me like a fat kid looks at cake...I protested, but he grabbed me and dragged me on to the dance floor. We were the ONLY ones on the floor. *Insert look of horror here* 

I'm not sure what he was doing. It's like some weird swing dancing that only schizo's know, because yeah, I tried to follow I really did, to no avail. Apparently I was a little tense, I don't know WHY? Um HELLO? McFly?! So he kept pulling me closer and saying things to me in a weird Spanish accent. (He's not Spanish) It went like this... 

Horrified look on my face while glaring at Jen, and giving her the SU FI. 

Debi: Wow, yes, um I should go now. 
Michael: Reeelax a leetal. 
Debi: Oh you know, I JUST can't...I don't relax well. 

He pulls me closer and proceeds to trample all over my beautiful feet (I am in flip flops) 

Debi: You know I have to um sing soon and you know..um yeah I can't dance to this song. 
Michael(Spanish accent): Have joo ever been to a Central American discotec? 
Debi: um, wow, ya know...I can honestly say no I have not. I should go there now! 

I tried to flee, looking at my new favorite bouncer for help--he was too busy falling over laughing and making mopping motions with his "air mop" to help.
Michael(MORE Spanish accent): Relllllaaaaax....Imagine a leetal cloud in da sky.
WTF? A LEETAL CLOUD? Um yeah...I kind of went to my happy place right then so as not to weep. Thankfully the song ended shortly after that.

I was going on and on about it in the car, telling Jen how much I hated her when she yelled

"Just Shut up and Drunk Dial." So I did. Tom laughed at the whole story... 

I may NEVER be the same again.

The good news is...I am getting my floors mopped. MEOW!

HNT

"My Half Naked Thursday" is dedicated to my favorite Rogue!

I do NOT think I have attractive feet, so for me to take this picture was really hard...and posting it...well that was REALLY REALLY hard. I hope you enjoy it as much as "Prince Charming" did.

If you don't know what HNT is go here and join in the fun!

One Year Ago Today...

...I started a BLOG!

Today is my one year Blogiversary!

When I started this blog, it was mainly a place to rant, giggle and goof off with my friends. I had no idea that so many people would be interested in what *I* had to say. I had no idea I had so MUCH to say. I learned a lot about myself over the past year. I learned a lot about YOU over the past year. There have been days when I thought "I lost my funny", but you stuck it out with me. There have been days when I thought the tears would never end, and you were there with me, lifting me up and making me smile.

Thank you my friends, and family(and blog family) for everyhting. This has been such a positive experience for me, that I definately look forward to another 365 days of blogging. I hope you will join me!

~HUGS~ 
Debi

I TOLD You I Was A Princess!

Once upon a time, there lived a princess…

She met a prince…he shall be called Sir Finnian MacLeod, Baron of Scota MacTiera, Marquis of the march of Tartarus, Imperius Vox Lupus, High commander of the imperial army and member of the Bentwood Raiders Mercenaries…or maybe just renaissance festival boy…or maybe just RFB Yes, RFB it shall be! Huzzah! (Sorry I was carried away)

So…back to the fairytale. I met yet another one on line. This was on the same site that I met B.B. I did not ACTUALLY think anything would come of it, as he lives in …hello…FLORIDA. I read his profile, and thought he was rather charming, but was disappointed when I saw that he lived on the opposite side of the country from me…so all I said was “Too bad you’re in Florida!” That was that. I never thought I would receive any kind of response. However. I did!

Saturday night I logged in to see he had sent me a brief note “Good things come to those who wait.” Weird…but I liked it. I could use a nice banter with a cute guy, so I replied. Monday I received an e-mail reply from him, which told me he thought I was… and I quote “Incredibly Sexy”. Well how can I deny him the pleasure of talking to me even more with a comment like that? Therefore, I told him I found him attractive as well, and hoped for more charming banter. My wish was granted. The next e-mail said “O talk to me, muse.”

*insert swooning here*

Now anyone who knows me KNOWS I love the role-play medieval stuff, so I was hooked at Muse. We bantered back and forth in my best…or in this case worst… Shakespearian typing. This lead to shameless flirting from both parties. We then exchanged numbers, and he called a while later. Therefore, I know this about him…

He told me he does NOT like to be referred to as a “Ren Fairy”.
*insert insane giggling here*

He loves to be romantic.
*swooning again*

He is very affectionate. (Or “fectionate” for Cory)

He is very intelligent.
*Random Thought: OMG he spells things correctly!! YAY!*

He likes to play a rogue.
*Random thought: At least it is not a wizard*

He definitely would live in California.

We talked for two and a half hours, and most likely would have stayed on longer had my cell phone not died. I stayed up way past my bedtime…was it worth it?

Maybe.

Stalking is FUN!

In THIS scene, B.B. his family, and friends continue to read my blog on a daily basis. YAY ME!

Well you know what? YOU may think I am an evil bitch...
but I am a smart evil bitch...

I CAN SEE YOU...I know your I.P. Address I know WHEN you visit. I know if it's a link from your Yahoo E-mail...I know what ISP you use...and I know you are checking me out from work.

So go away Stalkzillas...You read what you needed to read.


Move along, nothing to see here...

HNT

Today's HNT is a little bit different for me...

Today My Half-Nakedness isn't a photo as much as it is the nakedness of my heart, my soul, Me!

Someone recently told me that he didn't have time to get to know "The Other Debis". I really pondered that statement for a long time yesterday. The conclusion I came to is this. I am secure in who I am. I know me, and I LOVE me. I don't know too many people who can say that about themselves. It has taken a lot of years, and a lot of mistakes, and a lot of Jesus to get me where I am, but that's O.K. All of those experiences, bad and good, made me who I am today. I'm a multifaceted individual. THAT Makes me interesting. I wouldn't go back to the way I was even last month, if given the chance. Everyday I wake up and thank The Lord for all the joy I am about to have, for all the lessons I learn. When my father died of cancer 16 years ago it showed me that you just never know, and life is short. I live each day like it's my last. I tell the people that I love, that I love them. I try and do my part to make this world a better place. It can be something simple like a smile, or holding the door open for someone behind me. It can be something huge like helping a friend who has lost everything in a hurricane...It's not about what I do...but WHY I do it. Joy. It's all about sharing the joy for me, and you can NEVER take that away from me. 

Have I become jaded when it comes to finding "The One"? Yes, perhaps I have finally. Yes, I made some bad choices. However I have experienced things NO WOMAN should ever be put through. I was in an abusive relationship that ended with him going to prison for trying to choke me to death on my own kitchen floor. I have had my self esteem damaged so badly that I didn't even want to look in the mirror. I actually started to believe I was hideously ugly. I have had men cheat on me, lie to me, steal from me. You name it I have been through it. Maybe I am too trusting, and too naive. Maybe I am too giving, and too loyal. Maybe I am too loving, and charitable. Perhaps...I thought those were good traits. Will all of these experiences change me? I sure the hell hope so! Growth can't happen without change. 

Have I become wiser? Maybe a little bit.

Am I worth getting to know? Absolutely.

Will I find LOVE? I already have.

Flaws And All

Break-Up Babe's Book!

OK How the crap could I forget that one of the best bloggers on the planet has a book? Geez...OK so I was wrapped up in my own little Break-Up drama that I forgot...so hit me in the head with a book or something...Please?
*grin*

OK so...now run right over and click this little link----->BUY HER BOOK

OR

You can run right over and read her blog, and THEN buy her book---->READ HER BLOG

I Had A Four Way!

Call! 

I had a four way phone call...OhMyGosh...You thought I meant Orgy...Well not so much. I bet some creepy guy looking for orgy will now hit my blog. It's ok, don't feel left out bitches, I will share!

So yesterday there I was working....O.K. Well there I was Sitting at my desk, waiting for the phone to ring, and wishing I was at home playing Everquest... *damn you Diva!*...When B.B. pops on my Instant messenger...it went a little something like this....


B.B.: Good Morning Cutie Pie!
B.B.: Ok, so maybe it's more afternoon for some
Debi: Hi There, and yes it's officially now afternoon 
B.B.: How are you today? 
Debi: Good, just looking for tiki stuff on E-bay for my tiki party, how are you? 
B.B:Nice! I'm doing pretty good. The week seems to be pretty slow so far! 
Debi: sounds like my work week LOL 
B.B.: Oh yeah? 
Debi: Well work is work I am here whether it's busy or slow hehe 
B.B.:Manager Girl 
Debi: yes...I am a slave to my job...Plus I NEED the overtime to pay for my new backyard
B.B.:I know how that goes 
B.B.:*Glancing at my bar* there are all kinds of things from eBay over there! 
Debi: I am an E-bay junkie

We talked about Random E-bay stuff right about here....Then....

B.B.: Ok, so you know what's goofy? 
Debi: me? 
B.B.:I kinda miss hanging out with you...

*Insert Random Thought Here* ONLY KINDA? WTF?
Debi: and that's goofy? 
B.B.: I've only hung out with you like 1+ times. But you're a hoot! 
Debi: yeah well I am fabulous...how can you not want more...really...;) 
B.B.:Just sayin', WAY looking forward to seeing you again 
Debi: and when might THAT be? ;) 
B.B.: That's what I'm working on. How does your Friday night work? 
B.B.: And would a bribe with gas money help? 
Debi: So you are trying to bribe me to come see you? 
B.B.:Yup, Did I mention the full bar?
*Insert Random Thought Here* He knows the way to my heart doesn't he?
Debi:Ok so if I don't have to pick up D...I will contemplate coming up... 
B.B.:Fabulous 
B.B.:I may have a poker game Saturday night, but that'll be a hoot as well!
*insert Random Thought Here* Um...Yeah not so much...
B.B.:I'm up in the air on that though 
Debi: well I CAN be adaptable when need be... 

*Insert Random Thought Here* Who the crap am I kidding? No, I can't. I am an unyielding cactus remember?

B.B.:Fabulous 

*Insert Random Thought Here* Why does he keep saying that?

B.B.:We'll have a great time I'm sure. Do you like Sushi? 
Debi: SUSHI? OMG yes

*Insert Random Thought Here* Ok a full bar, AND seaweed and raw fish...I am SO there.

Diva has been added to the conversation.
Then it REALLY got Crazy! Then I added my friend Cory, who lives up near B.B. I guess we all got tired of typing, because somehow we ended up in a Four-way conversation on the phone. It was a lot of fun, and B.B. seemed to get along very well with my friends. That's a good sign in my book...Unless of course he gets along too well with Cory! I'll keep you posted my lovelies!

I Met A Boy (Part 2)

So...My online dating seems to have turned up someone worthy of meeting. We shall call him B.B. ( Buddha Boy---Because his profile said he was into Buddha) Of course he doesn't live in the same area as I do...Because really that would be way too easy now wouldn't it? He lives in Santa Cruz, about 2.5 hours north of me. We exchanged E-mails back and forth for a few days, then talked on the phone a couple of times. It seems that he has also dated some insane people. (Of course I win the crazy prize for CG. I mean who else can claim that their ex created a ginormous story claiming to murder someone, and move to another country JUST to break up with you? I myself would have just chosen to be honest, but you know insanity has it's privileges.)

So it's day three in our little banter, and B.B. and I have decided to meet the following night. He said he enjoys Karaoke, and I myself just HAPPEN to be at Karaoke on Thursday nights. So it's set...sorta...He said there was an 80% chance he would drive down. I don't hear from him all day, and when I do he says he is coming. That's good and bad. Yes it's fabu, that he wanted to come meet me, but leaving me kind of hanging all day is NOT good. I hate that. Make plans, show up on time, and everything will be good. I am a planner. I am organized, and I am rarely if ever late. I cannot STAND tardiness....so at this point I'm not so sure about this one. I get off work, go home and get dressed to go out. I wanted to look cute, but not super fancy or anything. So I chose some jeans and a cami with a sweater over it. OF course I had the cleavage thing going on. So we head off to Pismo Beach, and get our table, start drinking, and singing...etc. Three hours pass before he shows up. This means he left his house RIGHT when we were leaving mine. *grumble* That's NOT what he told me. He's dressed nice, and he's good looking, but a little shorter than I had hoped. (I think I am doomed to date midgets for the rest of my life.) I'm not super tall or anything, only 5'6", but I like a taller man, and I guess that is also too much to ask, as B.B. is only 5'8". He paid for my drinks all night, complimented me on my appearance, and singing, so we got along just fine. He seemed a little out of his element, so he was a little less chatty than he had been on the phone.

We ended up making plans to see each other again later in the weekend, but our busy schedules prevented that from happening. We may see each other this weekend if we can get the scheduling down. So far the jury is still out on B.B. but at least he didn't mention the movie TR*Y!

I Met A Boy (Part 1)

I'm tired...
Yes, I know you don't feel sorry for me do you? I know it's all my fault. Howver it was worth it...

I met a boy. 

To Be Continued...

HNT

This week's "Half Naked Thursday" is dedicated to my ex boss J.P. When I started working here, I was going through the computer to see what changes needed to be made and what should I find, but this lovely photo of J.P. hosting a party at his house...or should I say in his pants!
Enjoy!

What do you mean you have no idea what HNT is all about? Well click HERE to check it out!

It's Wild Wednesday!

It's Wild Wednesday!...

You know what that means...you find out something WILD about me..ok well this week..not so much...

You love to be pampered and romanced by your men and things like cuddling by a fire, having an intimate meal, or having a long, deep conversation can always put you in the mood. Sex to you is usually more about the man your with than the act itself. Not a one-night stand kind of girl, newness and disconnectedness just don't do it for you. The mature, stable men you prefer to date appreciate your loyalty and big heart, but they especially love the way you inspire their more aggressive, protective masculine side.

What's Your Sexual M.O.? Find out @ She's Crafty

Why Can't *I* Have A Coloring Book?

You know how you got out to eat and sometimes they have coloring books for the kids? Why don't they have one for adults too? I can name a few times when that would have come in handy.

You are out to dinner, it's a first date. The mood is set. The lighting is just right, you look AMAZING. Your hair finally did the same thing on the right as it did on the left. Then it happens. Your blind date walks in and he is short. I mean not just 5'7" claiming he is 5'9" like someone who shall remain nameless(CG---ooops it slipped). I mean REALLY short...5'4". He waddles up to the table, and after he gets situated on his booster seat, you see it. The hole he has, where he used to have a tooth, or maybe two...You can't tell. THIS would be a perfect time to have a coloring book so you didn't have to look at the redneck midget. Did the waitress even ASK you if you wanted one? No...so you have to suffer through dinner, trying NOT to look at Joe (who you suspect is really named Bobby Joe) and his tooth hole.

You are out to dinner with a girlfriend and you both see a hot guy at the bar. Your girlfriend is kind of a "loud talker" and you would rather not risk having her shout to you how hot he is. However, if you had a coloring book handy you could color a lovely picture, and write your note on the back..I'm just saying. They could make adult books, where you have to color pictures right out of the kamasutra. Well an updated version where the man doesn't look like a stinky cave man and the woman actually knows what a razor is.

I dunno...just a thought. Well *I* want one dammit!

My Weekend In Review

It's Monday again, and you know what that means? That means it's time for you to click that cute little red button down there. Come on touch it! You know you wanna! 

----------><----------

This weekend I bought a bar!

NO, not THAT kind of bar. I just happened to be in Target last weekend (when am I NOT in Target?) and I saw this really great bamboo tiki bar. I decided that since I am a rockabilly chick now, that I need a really nifty Polynesian paradise to entertain in. I spent most of the morning on Saturday tearing out all of the plants I had out there, and replanting them in different spots to make room for my new tiki love. Then I needed to go shopping, and out to lunch. OF course the first thing I bought was a tiki glass to go with the tiki bar I was going to buy! I couldn't get the bar last week because I had no way to get it home, but as fate would have it this Saturday it was on sale! What good is managing a moving company of idiots if you can't bribe them to move stuff for you all the time? So I called Rusty and had him help me out. I figured I could put it together myself. I was wrong. So I had another friend put it together for me. THIS is why I need a man around. Sheesh!

Sunday I spent the day recovering from Saturday's shopping, re-landscaping, and bar building(watching). More landscaping, laundry (OH THE JOY!) and a whole lot of sitting on my ass! A perfect end to a great summer weekend.

What did YOU do? 

Thank You...

Thank You...

This post is set to the tune: "True Colors" By: Cyndi Lauper

Wow! What a Thursday and I haven't even been at work for 2 hours yet!

You know I just love coming into my nice peaceful office before the crew. I do. I get so much done. I get their maps made, their paperwork together, my E-mail(for work) read and answered. I take care of our lead management program and enjoy my coffee. Then I try and get my personal E-mail read and answered. That's where the chaos began. 

I opened my e-mail today to find a really nasty letter from C.G. Now I have been really good about not airing my dirty laundry here, unless it's somehow funny, and pokes fun at me. I have done my best not to slander the men that I have dated too much, and I have never fibbed about what they did to earn their spot in "Debi's Hall Of Shame". 

Today you get to enjoy the E-Mail too, because I like to share. Everyone settle in with a pilsner of warm German beer, sit down and enjoy for today we celebrate ignorance!

From: C.G. 
To: Debi 
Sent: 05/31/06 11:42pm 

"So it's about 0830 hear and I have got to ask you WHAT THE FUCK IS PROBLEM ? I get this phone call form my mom and says oh you have got to listen to this msg. on the Phone, so she plays it and all I hear is FUCK'N Stupid falling out of your fucking dumbass mouth. Hear it is all layed out for you ......... I don't like being called a lier or someone implying that i'm a lier, so YOU CAN JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF FORM HEAR ON OUT ! I DON'T CARE WHAT EVER IT IS YOU THINK IS GOING ON , I DON'T CARE IF YOU DRIVE YOUR FUCKING ASS TO RENO, IF YOU FEEL LIKE WASTING YOUR TIME , MONEY , OR WHATEVER GO RIGHT AHEAD, IF YOU SEND ME ANYMORE EMAILS YOU WILL JUST BE WASTING YOUR FUCKING TIME, THEY WILL JUST BE DELETED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST LIKE YOU !!!!"
So as you can see, C.G has gone completely insane. I mean his overuse of exclamation points, gratuitous foul language, run on sentences, and poor spelling is a clear sign, at least to me. I understand if he thinks he was somehow wronged...but really does it require THAT many exclamation points? I know I know... Calling his cell phone and asking why it was still on when he was in Germany is SO bad. I am EVIL! (Insert Dripping Sarcasm Here)

So today I would like to dedicate my post to thanking C.G. Had he not sent me this E-mail today I may have actually missed him. I may have actually longed to hear his voice, or see him again. C.G. YOU were only thinking of ways to help me get over you quicker. I see that now! I am a LUCKY girl! So C.G. I raise my pilsner filled with German swill to you today. 

Cheers!