Sunday, May 27, 2007

Cruisin Paso '07

What a weekend! I should start by giving you some background. Last summer during my birthday of heat, Jen and I went to Hootenanny. If you missed that story *
click here* 

Now at the end of that story I told you I didn't think HRG wasn't a very nice guy... It's funny how things turn out, and people you think you will be with forever turn out to be all wrong, and people you don't think you could stand to be around turn out to become life long friends? well I found out later in the year HRG actually IS a great guy, and we remained friends all year long. I will skip the details of how a certain car club that rhymes with "toad bebils" has a whole lot of craptacular members and I pretty much wish them all a slow painful death. However, HRG is kewl. Now, I am dating BB so of course nothing is going on between HRG and I, but he's a fun friend to have around, and he always comes to my area every year for a huge car show. I had plans to hang out at the car show all weekend with friends but HRG e-mailed me and said he was coming up and we should all hang out since he had left his car club. I told him he could join our posse for the weekend if he wanted.

Friday night is "Cruise night" Hot cars cruise up and down revving up their engines and the crowd as they tootle along down the main drag for people to see. HRG said I could ride with him that night so I was thrilled. I hadn't been in cruise night since my folks had their cars, and I missed it. We got lined up, and started cruising. HRG tends to be a ham, and has a pretty loud, & fast car... so of course when he let a few cars get ahead of him, he reved it up and tore off down the street. He hadn't gotten 300 feet when a cop rolled up and pulled him over in the cruise. The officer was quite charming as he said "Hey! You do that shit again and I will pull you outta this and impound your car" Man, no matter where I go "the man" is all over me! LOL There were way more people there than last year and it was a lot of fun. We added people to the car as we saw friends we knew and before long the Paso Robles heat had the car feeling like Hootenanny 'o6. We ended the night by hanging out at a friend's house for a party with some great friends, too many margaritas and the best guacamole on the planet. 

Saturday morning I had to be up at the butt crack of dawn for some dress altering for my daughter's prom. I didn't have a hang over but I was insanely tired from the night before so alterations were slow, and... well let's face it. I am no seamstress! I did my radio show, cleaned up, grabbed my son and we headed out to the car show. I about tripped and fell over my chin when I noticed that HRG had been parked right next to the ex-car club, and here we were again... face to face with the very same people who I NEVER wanted to see again. This time, they were in MY town. I told HRG... there's gonna be a rumble if any of them even look at me wrong. Thankfully none of them did, cause I would have had to call Jen to kick their ass! Cause *i'm* not doing it. Cause ya know... I'm a chicken and stuff. The wind picked up and I about froze to death but we had a lot of fun. HRG's car got some new "ink". It's a good thing I was there too, otherwise he car might say "What seem to be the proble oficer" Instead of "What seems to be the problem officer?" Hey!? No one said stripers were smart, right? I guess it was a tribute to cruise night or something either way it's funny. After a huge dinner of Shrimp Scampi, I was passed out in bed by 8:30.

Whew! My vacation is over, and I am still tired, but it was so much fun seeing everyone! I can't wait for Crusin Paso '08. Maybe Next year my honey can be there and make it perfect!
Who knows, right?

Friday, May 18, 2007

It's All About The 80's

We are going to Party Like it's 1999!

Do you remember wearing a white blazer with a pastel T-shirt underneath Ala Don Johnson?

Do you remember spraying your hair with Aquanet so your bangs would tower above your head like a mini sculpture?

Did you rip the collar out of your sweatshirt, and wear leg warmers and dance like you were a "Maniac"?

If you have answered yes to any of the above questions... YOU should be listening to my radio show this Saturday morning at 9am California time (That's noon EST, or 5pm UK time!)

MPYR Radio's own Iceprincezz (That's ME yo!) will be playing all that crazy 80's tunage from 12pm-2pm EST!

Join us in the chat room to make a request and some new friends!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

New Shoes...

Why? Why do I even Try?

I hate this, I hate who I have become. I am sitting here just miserable again! This is two nights this week something or someone has made me feel like crap. WHY? Why the hell do I even let this stuff bother me? What happened to the tough, miss independent Iceprincezz I used to be? I guess all that "Emotional Baggage" I thought I had dumped into the lake swam out and stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

I should be opening a bottle a wine, and saying C'est La Vie. I should be laughing and pretending like I am not hurt from something that shouldn't matter... but I am. I shouldn't be sitting here feeling like I am not good enough... but I am. 

Will I ever be good enough?

Edit: Blogs what would I do without them? I was just reading one on myblog roll, and I posted some lovely advice in her comments... and then it hit me.... duh... you wrote THAT advice to yourself. It applied to her too... but ya know... I think maybe it applied to me even more. So here is what I am going to do... I am going to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop... if it drops. I move on like I always do. If it doesn't drop... then I can tie it to the back of my car on some distant wedding day... either way... I am good.

So Roxy... CHEERS, and Thanks!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Sins Of The Past...

...They always come back to haunt you don't they?

Why didn't I believe my parents when they told me to get your shit together when you are younger?

I sit here today miserable, and lacking the thinks I truly desire because of my past sins. I got married a few minutes out of high school. I didn't go to college like all my friends. I was cooking dinners and having a baby, while they were all out experiencing life, getting an education, and meeting quality men. I was watching my husband drink 12 beers a night and pass out on the floor while our baby cried because she was sick, and I was too tired, and too young to know any better.

I went from bad to worse and back again. Just when I thought I would get it together, go to school and marry the right man, he turned out to be the wrong man, again. 

I thought I knew how to break this cycle. I thought if I was a strong, educated woman, with a good job, I would attract the right man this time. The problem is. I cause this cycle. I caused the demise of so many of my past relationships... and yet I still blame THEM.

What has happened to me? Why can't I go into a relationship with trust. I can't do it. I don't know how to trust anyone anymore. Maybe I watched too many episodes of the X-Files, or maybe I have just been hurt so many times by people I did trust that I am just scarred for life. I get attached to someone and I look for the signs. I looks for the ways they are going to hurt me. I speculate on how this one will take advantage of me this time. Even when things are going really well I see giant flashing lights of dishonesty all around me, when they aren't really there. I look for ways to head off the relationship so I can escape and minimize the pain. Now even my future is being haunted by my past.

I have a great guy in my life, who has given me NO reason what so ever to doubt that he cares for me and wants to be with only me. He hasn't even done any of the things that my exes did to me. He says all the right things at the right times, and he treats me really well. He makes it known he has a girlfriend, to the people we know in common. He's smart, funny, handsome, and we have a great time together. I already let myself care for him more than I should. I passed that point of no return. The part where songs, and TV shows, and certain smells remind you of the other person. The part where you know that if it ends it's going to leave you sobbing on the couch for days while Jen tries to get you to beat a snow globe in the back yard with a hammer. So why can't I just be happy, and have fun, and believe that everything is going to be OK? Why can't I just plan a future with someone, instead of planning the way it's going to end?

I am so afraid that being loved is for other people. I want to run away. I want to run away from him. I want to run away from my radio station. I want to run away from my job. I just want to run away from everything that can hurt me.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

I Want A Frosted Friend..

Yesterday afternoon I went over to my mom's house for lunch just like I do every day. I was watching TV, and having my delicious(mainly because it was free) sandwich, when this commercial came on. It's the commercial for the Frosted Mini Wheat cereal. I was mesmerized as I watched this little chunk of frosted wheaty goodness checking off a check list for a little school girl. Then it hit me...

I need a frosted mini wheat personal assistant! Think about it. I mean he couldn't wash the car, because he might get wet, and soggy, and dissolve... but he could do other things! This fiber filled assistant could answer the phones for me at work while I took a nap, fold laundry, and help my kids with their homework. I wouldn't forget things on my to do list anymore. It would just be great!

Last night I went to the store and bought a box of Frosted Mini Wheat, but sadly none of the little squares would talk to me. I guess maybe I shouldn't have gone for the generic brand.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Cats In Bud Vases...

So I was telling Monty how sometimes I'm not sure men are worth the trouble, and maybe I should just buy my own house so I can have a cat, and eat lots of doughnuts (and probably the Cheetos I have grown to love so much). She is most excellent and replied with this...

We can buy a house together and have lots of cats and be the 
neighborhood Crazy Cat Ladies, and whenever one of our hundreds of 
cats dies we can cremate them ourselves on the backyard barbecue and 
keep their ashes in little crystal bud vases all over the house. 
And we can eat all the donuts we want and get very fat, because you 
know I'd love you even if you weighed six hundred pounds. But I 
wouldn't be able to help you out of your rocker, though. :) 
Probably because I would also weigh six hundred pounds and I wouldn't 
be able to get up myself. This sounds like a do-able plan. 

Now the good news is, I am grooming my son to take care of me when I am older and fatter. I have already taught him how to pour wine, make spaghetti, and cakes, and shop with coupons. I really don't think he would mind helping Monty out of her rocker too. I think I'll ask him tonight when I get home and see what he says.