Things Happen For Reasons...

...And Sunday's Drama was meant to be.

OK So It still sucked and all... However, it's amazing what 4 days, and 17 e-mails can do to change your opinion of someone! LOL 

I'm sure BB would be a catch for someone with no opinions, someone who would never debate him, and sit around lounging at his feet telling him how perfect and right he is all day. I'm NOT that kind of a girl. So I'm glad that he left the station the way he did. Like a big bold peacock flouncing his tail feathers and showing us all his true colors. 

The drama was his own doing, and now maybe I understand a little more about this person, and what a bad choice it would have been to stay emotionally involved with someone who believes he is right 99% of the time. 

The station that I proclaimed I hated, has created a safe haven now that he has gone. I am surrounded by friends, and people who really care about me, and the future of the station. They left on their own. I won't pretend we were "cutting dead weight" or anything like that! We had some good people who chose a different path that will ALWAYS be welcome back here at The Empire. We will decide the future of MPYRRadio together, as a big family of people who love music. It's ok, we are all little soldiers on a great big boat sailing off into the future... a new beginning. 

Aye laddie!


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Have you sponsored me yet?

I am going to be blogging for The American Cancer Society on July 28th. I will be posting a blog every 30 minutes for 24 hours straight. Not only that but we will be broadcasting live for MORE than 24 hours since we have decided to bring some great music to The "B-Schedule" people as well.

Check out Blogathon.org to find more great causes to give you money to.
...Cause You KNOW you Want to!

Blogathon is BACK!

Blogathon 2007

Yes, that's right, because I didn't get enough punishment last year I am back for year #2 of Blogging 24 hours for charity. July 28th I will stay up and blog every 30 minutes for charity.
This year I will be blogging once again for The American Cancer Society in memory of my father who lost his battle with cancer in 1990.

Not only that but MPYR Radio will be broadcasting live for 24 hours... so stay tuned to the fun!

If you want to be added to the "Blogathon 2007 Blogroll" on my side bar let me know and I will add you!

Wanna start throwing money to my charity?
Go ahead You KNOW you want to...

*CLICK HERE*

Cha Cha Cha Changes...

Again

I give up. I had hoped that "some day" BB(British Boy) and I could maybe start over and see where that goes. Last night I was feeling really good about things. He invited me to play EQII with him, and he told me he missed chatting and hanging out with me. Everything was great. We were talking about how we missed each other's company, and that neither of us had any expectations... and then BLAM... out of no where I say something that changes the course of history forever.

When I spoke those fateful words, I had no idea I was making him hate me. Making his blood run cold. You see when we originally broke up, I sent out an email to my friends who happened to be DJ's (on MPYRRadio) letting them know I was ok, what had happened and the station was fine, BB wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't going anywhere, etc etc... It was done so that no one would panic and take sides. I didn't send it to all of the DJ's as I wrote it as a personal letter, with station info in it. The three DJ's that were left off that mailing were BB, His Family, and best gal pal. I figured if he wanted to tell them we had split up, it was his place. I felt like I would have been overstepping my bounds had I sent that to them as well as it was truly not a station update. I mentioned this in passing last night as we spoke on the phone. He grew very silent and then said he had to go to bed. I knew something was wrong so I asked him. He then spoke words I never wanted to hear.

"I resign from the station, effective immediately."

I felt chills, and my stomach did big flip flops. My heart sank, and I tried to explain it wasn't a "station E-mail", to no avail. He wouldn't listen to me, he kept saying that he wanted no part of a station where people don't come to his shows because he broke up with me. I tried to explain that wasn't the case as far as I knew. He told me to take care and hung up.

I couldn't sleep last night. I kept thinking how when I got out of bed this morning, it was all going to somehow be better... but it wasn't. He posted his resignation on the forums, and e-mailed me that he has no desire to be part of this anymore.

What hurts the most, is right when I got my best friend back, he doesn't even want to speak to me anymore. He has deleted everyone and everything to do with MPYR Radio, or me. He won't speak to me, he won't answer my last e-mails, he's done with me. Like I never existed.

I hate this station. I hate that I ever started it. I hate that I hate it... but I do. I hate that I hurt my best friend... but I did. Now here I am again... Brokenhearted Part 2

The only good that has come out of this is that I found out who my true friends are.

The Day I Hate The Most...

My birthday...

In one week I will be 37. In one week, the day I hate the most out of all the days in the world will be here. I hate my birthday. I wish we could just go from June 30 right into July 2 and then I wouldn't expect my birthday to be fun. My birthday happens to be a really busy time of the the year, when people are traveling, planning 4th of July festivities, planning family reunions, and every year my birthday was forgotten, or generally just pooh. One year, my own mother forgot about it. When I was growing up I never had a fun party with a cake and pin the tail on the donkey. I never had a pinata like other parties I went to. I never had a pool party... and I certainly didn't have one of those crazy sweet 16 parties like the rich girls all get these days. All I wanted was a party with my friends, but we were always out of town at the family reunion. What a treat it was to spend every one of my childhood birthdays with 35 old people in the mountains. I guess I always hoped as I got older that my friends would have a surprise party, or the man in my life would do something really special... and every year I kind of hold out hope.. and every year... NOTHING. This year will be no exception. I am single again this year during my birthday so of course it won't be spent with anyone "special". This doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel worse. The getting older never bothered me until this year. I just feel like that's it. I am "Over The Hill" and I should start finding cats to live with me, and give up my "Happily Ever After" dream. 

I honestly don't think there is anything more depressing than spending your birthday with a cake you bought, watching the "Dog The Bounty Hunter" Marathon, but that is exactly what I intend to do.

Lots of Things...

So it's official summer vacation around here. My son graduated 6thgrade and will now be in Junior High school next year. My daughter will be in college. OMG. I feel about 100 years old now. Where did the years go? It doesn't seem strange seeing them growing up... it seems strange seeing ME get older. I'm not so ready for this. I don't feel like I am speeding towards 37 with a daughter in college. I feel like I am 27, and I should still be in college.

My recent bout with mortality has also brought on a new anxiety. Will I find Mr. Right before I am dead? BB and I decided (and when I say we I mean HE) decided that it would be better if weren't together. He has too many obligations to have a girlfriend in another country. I'm not sure if this is a permanent thing or not. He spoke of "down the road, when I have more time" and "hopefully I won't be too late". That made me feel better, and eased the shock of being dumped yet again, but the reality is... That was probably a nice, non confrontational way of breaking up with me as we still have the radio station together. I don't want it to be over because I do care for him a great deal. I don't want to go through the "getting to know" you again. I just started to learn how to trust someone again, and "the other shoe dropped" but.. I should have known. It always does. This time was different for me though. I didn't lock myself away eating cookies, and crying into my pillow in the middle of the floor. I didn't go into a major depression, and cry listening toMarillion songs over and over. I just kind of shrugged this off. Not because it doesn't hurt... it does. I guess I have just become so jaded that it's almost like I don't believe in true love anymore. I have too many people counting on me at the station to lose it. The station and the people that have put in all those hours depended on me not to fall apart and let it effect the station.

During this time of total "bummerness"... I have really learned who my true friends are. The ones that were there to check on me and make sure I wasn't eating cookies and crying. The ones that showed me how loved I am, and the ones who made me laugh instead of crying. The ones who played special songs and dedicated them to me on their radio show. The ones that showed me what blessings I have in my life.

It's too bad everyone can't experience that kind of friendship. It's too bad not everyone wants that. It's too bad some people are so into thinking people are out to get them, that they couldn't see the friendship they COULD have had. It's also a very sad thing when people have so much anger, hate, and hurt built up inside them that their only joy is to spew venom at those who have REALLY done NOTHING to them personally. I was that person once... but I'm not anymore. 

Thank You Thank You!

I got an early B-day Present! For those of you who are still in need of gifting, it's ok you still have time It's July 1st!


So Monty decided I was stinky or something cause she sent me this awesome smelly good stuff.

Tramp Shower Gel
Sex Bomb & Think Pink Bath Bombs
Rock Star Soap
Angel On Bare skin Facial cleaner

All from www.lush.com


I freaking LOVE IT!


The names are the best... but they all smell very much like something I would pick for myself (It's cause we share a brain and stuff)

I love you Monty Skanypanties!

Blogathon Approaches

Blogathon is right around the corner, and it's time to start thinking about what charity I would like to support. Last year I picked the National Cancer Society, because I lost my father to liver cancer. This year I thought about HIV/AIDS research, but I am still undecided.

I am torn over blogathon. On one hand I am looking forward to raisingmoney for a good cause, having some fun, and possibly making some new friends. On the other hand I know that since my station will be one of many stations doing 24 hours live for charity, there will most likely be drama.

The saddest part is, this is one day when there should be NO drama at all. We should all be able to set aside our differences, and our petty jealously in order to create an environment that nurtures the spirit of giving.