Sunday, July 8, 2007

Cha Cha Cha Changes...


I give up. I had hoped that "some day" BB(British Boy) and I could maybe start over and see where that goes. Last night I was feeling really good about things. He invited me to play EQII with him, and he told me he missed chatting and hanging out with me. Everything was great. We were talking about how we missed each other's company, and that neither of us had any expectations... and then BLAM... out of no where I say something that changes the course of history forever.

When I spoke those fateful words, I had no idea I was making him hate me. Making his blood run cold. You see when we originally broke up, I sent out an email to my friends who happened to be DJ's (on MPYRRadio) letting them know I was ok, what had happened and the station was fine, BB wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't going anywhere, etc etc... It was done so that no one would panic and take sides. I didn't send it to all of the DJ's as I wrote it as a personal letter, with station info in it. The three DJ's that were left off that mailing were BB, His Family, and best gal pal. I figured if he wanted to tell them we had split up, it was his place. I felt like I would have been overstepping my bounds had I sent that to them as well as it was truly not a station update. I mentioned this in passing last night as we spoke on the phone. He grew very silent and then said he had to go to bed. I knew something was wrong so I asked him. He then spoke words I never wanted to hear.

"I resign from the station, effective immediately."
I felt chills, and my stomach did big flip flops. My heart sank, and I tried to explain it wasn't a "station E-mail", to no avail. He wouldn't listen to me, he kept saying that he wanted no part of a station where people don't come to his shows because he broke up with me. I tried to explain that wasn't the case as far as I knew. He told me to take care and hung up.

I couldn't sleep last night. I kept thinking how when I got out of bed this morning, it was all going to somehow be better... but it wasn't. He posted his resignation on the forums, and e-mailed me that he has no desire to be part of this anymore.

What hurts the most, is right when I got my best friend back, he doesn't even want to speak to me anymore. He has deleted everyone and everything to do with MPYR Radio, or me. He won't speak to me, he won't answer my last e-mails, he's done with me. Like I never existed.

I hate this station. I hate that I ever started it. I hate that I hate it... but I do. I hate that I hurt my best friend... but I did. Now here I am again... Brokenhearted Part 2

The only good that has come out of this is that I found out who my true friends are.

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