Friday, June 16, 2006

HNT



Today's HNT is a little bit different for me...
Today My Half-Nakedness isn't a photo as much as it is the nakedness of my heart, my soul, Me!
Someone recently told me that he didn't have time to get to know "The Other Debis". I really pondered that statement for a long time yesterday. The conclusion I came to is this. I am secure in who I am. I know me, and I LOVE me. I don't know too many people who can say that about themselves. It has taken a lot of years, and a lot of mistakes, and a lot of Jesus to get me where I am, but that's O.K. All of those experiences, bad and good, made me who I am today. I'm a multifaceted individual. THAT Makes me interesting. I wouldn't go back to the way I was even last month, if given the chance. Everyday I wake up and thank The Lord for all the joy I am about to have, for all the lessons I learn. When my father died of cancer 16 years ago it showed me that you just never know, and life is short. I live each day like it's my last. I tell the people that I love, that I love them. I try and do my part to make this world a better place. It can be something simple like a smile, or holding the door open for someone behind me. It can be something huge like helping a friend who has lost everything in a hurricane...It's not about what I do...but WHY I do it. Joy. It's all about sharing the joy for me, and you can NEVER take that away from me. 

Have I become jaded when it comes to finding "The One"? Yes, perhaps I have finally. Yes, I made some bad choices. However I have experienced things NO WOMAN should ever be put through. I was in an abusive relationship that ended with him going to prison for trying to choke me to death on my own kitchen floor. I have had my self esteem damaged so badly that I didn't even want to look in the mirror. I actually started to believe I was hideously ugly. I have had men cheat on me, lie to me, steal from me. You name it I have been through it. Maybe I am too trusting, and too naive. Maybe I am too giving, and too loyal. Maybe I am too loving, and charitable. Perhaps...I thought those were good traits. Will all of these experiences change me? I sure the hell hope so! Growth can't happen without change. 


Have I become wiser? Maybe a little bit.

Am I worth getting to know? Absolutely.

Will I find LOVE? I already have.




Flaws And All

No comments:

Post a Comment