With even MORE glitter...
I am sitting here in my office and I can hear my coworkers laughing in the back office, and I realize my world hasn't ended. Life is going to go on. Just because this season of my life has ended, doesn't mean I am never going to be OK. Today I am feeling better about everything that has been happening lately. I know that it's going to be a process to completely get over the feeling that I was duped by someone who I thought was awesome. Change is never easy. CS was my best friend, our lives were enmeshed more than I realized, so a huge part of MY life has to change to adapt to the changes that we thrown upon me. Looking forward I have to focus on my new life, new relationships, and friends. With that comes a lot of time with old friends, doing things I did before CS was part of my life, and focusing on ME!
I have an amazing group of coworkers that make me want to come into work every day. I can vent, laugh, and cry with the girls here and even though I am the new kid here, they treat me like we have been friends forever. I feel like I am part of their family. It's a good fit, and I am blessed to have found this job when I did. I don't know what I would have done with myself if I had to go through all of these changes AND be unemployed too. Spending time with these people nine hours a day five days a week, you either want to rip their heads off or hug them... some days I want to do both. Today no one will have to die.
Focusing on getting back to who *I* was really helps me feel whole again too. I decided I needed to spice up my look a little bit, so I am doing away with the boring "natural" brown hair color. I am going to go for a dark cherry or plum color. You know, something NOT natural. Something a little more sexy. I have lost 10 pounds since all of this started and I am going back to walking around the lake in the evenings with DL. It's not only therapy, because I get to vent about everything but maybe I will lose some more weight. Lord knows I need help in that department. I guess maybe I should thank CS for being such a douche and jump starting my weight loss? Maybe tied to a rock, through his window... No!? Too much?
Last night I spent 4 hours on the phone with a friend, and it felt great. I didn't feel like I had to hold anything back. I just let go, and I was really able to just be myself. I was able to talk about things I love, and feel supported. It was a nice treat to be able to talk about myself, and not CS for a change.
I have a lot of great friends who have been there for me through all of this. They were all there BC (before CS) and the ones that really count are still here. I've always said, go through something horrible, and see who sticks around, and you find out who your REAL friends are.
Today's Theme Song: Cuckoo ~ Adam Lambert
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