Monday, August 15, 2005

I'm Under Attack

So Jen B. Said I needed to post something new. I was sitting here thinking what could I post that would offend the most people all at once, when my office windows are suddenly covered in hot pink paint splotches. Wow, how did they know that's my favorite color?

I just stared out my newly polka-dotted windows thinking "Was that Bekins?" (Bekins is the OTHER moving company in town, and they are not above something like this) When one of my movers I like to call "Thuggy" (Mainly because he just got out of jail and looks like a thug) drove up, walked in and started talking to me like nothing was different. I said "Don't you notice the windows?" He turned around and said "Wow who paint balled you?" He's a genius I tell ya! He left because he didn't think his truck would look good covered in paint.

So as I go out to clean the window off... Because really who else would do it? I hear "pop! pop! Pop!" from behind me. I looked around and saw no one, but noticed that now the giant pillars out front were hot pink polka-dotted too! I decided to forego the cleaning, for fear of being hit with a paintball from some rogue assailant in the brush across the street from me. So I screamed like a girl (cause well...I am one) and ran into my office. I called the police, over an hour ago, and they still haven't shown up. I am sure they thought I was crazy when I told the dispatcher I was under attack.

Dispatcher: Paso Robles Police dispatch blah blah

Debi: I am under attack.

Dispatcher: Um excuse me?

Debi: I work for *insert name of moronic moving company here* and I am being paint balled with hot pink paint.

Dispatcher: Do you have a suspect description?

Debi: Do I need one to have you come out? *sigh* Well I think it's across the street in the residential area.

Dispatcher: I will send someone over to you right away.

Maybe in Police terms, "right away" means "when I feel like it". I know what house it is now, because I watched out the window and saw them aiming at me, so I am not worried about the "perps" running away. I just don't understand why it takes 3 cops to come tell us that the people in these SAME houses don't like where are big moving trucks are parked, and I can't even get one out here to save myself from certain paintball damage. Had they hit my car which is parked in front...and frankly they must be a terrible shot to have missed it...I would have gone over and driven the forklift into their back fence, while screaming something crazy like "This Is For Scoopy The Clown!!!!"
Something fun always happens on Mondays!

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