Boyz are Stoopid

Now I would like to preface this post by saying not ALL boyz are stupid, and behave badly...Or I will never hear the end of it from Charlie. 

A recent chat with one of my friends got me thinking about some of the BOYZ I have dated in my past. I call them BOYZ because if they were real men they probably wouldn't behave the way they did. I have actually dated some really wonderful men, just not that great for me. Then there are the men that for some reason feel it is absolutely necessary to lie to me. I just don't get it. I mean I understand if you are cheating on me (and if you are you are a fool for SO many reasons) you would lie to me. However, I have had men lie about the most ridiculous things ever. Here are a few examples; 

The last guy I dated we shall call "Chef". I met him on line. His ad said he knew his way around a kitchen. I later found out THAT was a lie too unless you count chicken caserole made with minute rice, and Campbell's soup or the bagel dogs he bought at costco to heat in the microwave. I thought he was very sweet, sexy, charming etc etc. My friends thought he was a bit "nerdy". That's ok with me because I like nerdy guys. We met up a couple of times and he seemed interested. After a while I asked him if we were "a couple" type thingy. The ONLY reason I asked is because I was also chatting with someone other men at the same time that were interested, and I didn't want to start something with them, if he thought it was a bad idea. *I* removed my personal ad, he did not (I should have known right then he was a liar) He said "Sure" I would later find out that was his standard answer to everything. I asked him numerous times if this is really what he wanted, because I was cool with just dating and getting to know one another. He insisted it was what he wanted. Well Halloween rolled around and he thought it would be a great idea if we got matching costumes and went out to a fabulous party or something. He even planned on getting us a hotel room with a jaccuzzi in it for the evening since we were going to be out of town. If he "Just wasn't that in to me" why did he do all of that? This went on for a few months. He met my family, spent the Thanksgiving holiday with us. He met my kids, all of my friends..The whole nine yards. I had no idea that anything was wrong until I discovered he had not only cheated on me (with more than one woman he met on line & more than one time) but he was telling his friends, family, coworkers etc, that he was lonely, and didn't have a girlfriend. This is what I don't get... If you don't want to be in a relationship with someone why say that you do? I admit that when I found out about his infidelity I freaked out. I MAY HAVE called him a few names. I MAY HAVE said he was mentally retarded. I MAY HAVE put a curse on his genital region with a voodoo doll... But I was upset. NOT the fact that he broke up with me, because looking back, I can see that he was NOT the right person for me. I mean I JUST can't be with a man who doesn't eat cheese! That's not right! I was purely upset that he had lied to me for so many months about so many things, and for NO reason. If he had said "hey ya know I just don't think I wanna be in a relationship right now" I would have been very cool with that. If he had said "HEY! I wanna go out and be a big o' Mack daddy playah pimp, and get crabs" I would said. "Ok have fun, see ya!... But I wouldn't have been angry. So why did he lie? I dunno. I don't even think he knows. It's not like I was gonna throw myself off a cliff with a note pinned to my chest that it was all his fault. I really hope some day "Chef" finds someone that makes him happy so he doesn't have to lie, cause he missed out on this "Princezz". 

Before Chef there was "Turd Of the Month". He received that lovely name from my daughter after he lied to me. His lie was the most ridiculous one yet! I had sent him flowers for a special occasion. Tulips, because our first conversation was about tulips. When I called to ask if he had received them he said "Yes, they are wonderful, I put them in a vase on my desk!" I asked him if he liked what I wrote in the card, and he claimed there was no card. So I screamed at some pour lady at the flower place for screwing up my order. I went to visit him (he lived 6 hours away) the next weekend. When I got there I noticed the box the flowers came in, with the flowers dead STILL in the box WITH the card just as it came. Ok so he doesn't like flowers or whatever...So just SAY SO. DON'T LIE about it. I spent 9 months with this guy. I eventually broke up with him. HE is still lying too! He sends me e-mails every once in a while letting me know "I still love you"
. 
There was "Granite" that lied about not having a girlfriend---he DID! 
There was "Convict" that lied about why he had gone to jail 
There was "I'm not Gay" who..Um yeah sure yer not buddy! 
There was "Chester" who lied about the age of girls he preferred---ewww! 
So why? Why do men lie about....Everything? Just man-up and be honest. Why do you think women act like crazed hyena? Because you have driven us insane!