Thursday, July 14, 2005

My Confession...

I didn't post yesterday because I wanted to make sure I got this right. You see I have a confession to make. I have had a deep dark secret for the last 3 years now.

I secretly desire my friend's husband. His name is David and he is perfect, well except for the fact that he is married to my friend. 
David Dresses well thanks to Tisha. That is important to me. How many times have you been out with a guy and they show up wearing something that looks like they picked it up off the floor, sprayed it with Fabreeze, and Downey's wrinkle reducer? Well I have, in fact I watched "Roxie's daddy" do it. Not only was I horrified, but I made him change. David never breaks this rule, and therefore is perfect. 
David is tall. How many times have you been in a bar wearing heels, and standing up, when a vertically challenged man walks up, looks up to you and asks you to dance? Your only recourse is to suddenly make up the excuse that you were just about to pee, and run away. This would never happen with David, therefore he is perfect. 
David really knows how to clean up. OK there was that ONE...Little incident with the dishwasher overflowing dish soap into the kitchen...Ok it was like three times, but you know CLEAN MEN ROCK. David likes to use lots of soap, therefore he is perfect. 
David is really kind of quite unless given a rainbow of drinks in one night. I am pretty chatty, and I like to be the center of attention, so I need a man who knows when to shut the hell up and let me be the princezz that I am. David let's Tisha be a Diva all the time, therefore he is perfect. David has a nice ass. OK so I really have a thing for guys with A) A nice ass B) Great Teeth C) Sexy eyes David has a nice ass, therefore is perfect. 
David is a gamer, aka geek. I have a thing for geeks who know what it means when I say " OMG I can't believe I just raided for 15 hours, and still didn't get an uber drop off that lame mob. We were pwned!" David knows what that means, therefore is perfect. 
David is southern. I have such a thing for men with manners, say "fixin" when they aren't fixing anything, and call me darlin'. David says fixin, therefore he is perfect. OK David, I said it...I want you. 
OK This post was all in fun so no one flame me. Unless they clone David, and I get a Dave-bot, you don't have to worry he is happily married to Diva of Diva's Den.

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