Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year...

So Much has happened since the last time I wrote. I'm not sure why I haven't been writing. I guess I just thought, I'll do it tomorrow, and then one day it WAS tomorrow. It's a new year, and I have things I want to work on like everyone else. Aside from the usual eat better, lose weight, and walk more I also want to be a better mom, a better friend, a better daughter, and better girlfriend if given the chance.

I guess what I am trying to say is in the last 4 months I have had someone in my life that has shown me just how much I really need to grow and change. My self confidence issue has reoccurred a couple of times in that time span, and I just don't know why or where it comes from, but I want to fix it. I don't want to feel insecure about my talent as a singer. I don't want to be measured by that talent either. When I first started hanging out with CS I always referred to myself as just a karaoke singer. I'm not. I have talent. I CAN sing. That habit of calling myself that was broken. Done and done.

I used to measure my talent on how many contests I won, or how many times a night someone told me I should be on American Idol. I used to feel like that was what I needed. It's not anymore. I guess being validated by someone with as much talent as CS even once was what I needed to hear to start believing in myself. I have had an opportunity in the past four months to meet, and spend time with a lot of really talented people. I adore most of them. I feel like CS has really let me into his world by introducing me to these people, and I feel like my life is richer for it. I guess I should have told him that more last year.

I also want to work on being a nicer person in general. I don't want to be Mother Teresa, but I guess I would like to be less catty, and judgemental. CS introduced me to one of his Friends JM. At first you want to take this lady to the beauty parlor and make her over. I know that's what I wanted to do... but now I am able to look past all of that and get to know the person. I never thought I would say this but I truly like JM! I feel like I have made a friend, not just someone that tolerates me presence because I am with CS. What other people have I missed adding to my life because of my snobbishness? No more...

The last 5 months of 2011 was honestly filled with so much joy for me, CS brought so many things to my world that I never could have experienced. I shared so much laughter and moments of fun with him, and I hope that 2012 is just as great.

Soundtrack: Auld Lang Syne

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