Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Things Happen For A Reason...

Do They? Do they really happen for a reason or is that just something we all say to make ourselves feel better about the crappy stuff that happen to us in life?

Yesterday and today were so bad, and yet I was able to find some good in it. Actually I was able to find some great. I guess you really find out who your friends are when things go south in your life. I mean I found out pretty quick who was going to be there for me when it all went to pooh after new years eve, but this is different.

Yesterday my boss accused me of stealing from work. I would to say I was more shocked and hurt than pissed off, but I was all of the above. I didn't do this. I am guilty of not catching mistakes, and making mistakes, but I didn't steal from that company. I loved working there, and I had a great job, I wouldn't risk that for a few extra bucks. He suspended me today, and I haven't heard from him, so I figure that he will fire me tomorrow. I could see it in his eyes that he didn't believe me, and I think that hurt worse than losing my job, because I thought of him as a friend as well.

When all of this happened, I text CS. I told him what was going on and he called me. He hates talking on the phone, so this did mean a lot to me. I explained to him what had happened, and he told me not to worry because everything would be alright. He called back a few minutes and asked me if I needed him to come over. I agreed and we had some wine and talked and watched TV till midnight. He truly made me feel better about everything and I was able to get some sleep.This morning he text me that he was thinking good thoughts for me today. I guess maybe I was right about him? I guess maybe he is a good guy after all? He showed me a really supporting caring side that I have yet to see from him. It was nice. After I got suspended I called him, and he stayed on the phone with me as long as I needed it. This afternoon he checked on me on his way to and from a rehearsal, and tonight he brought a movie over to watch. When he left he told me no matter what happens, don't let anyone fuck with you, because you are better than that. He kissed me and then told me goodnight.

When I closed the door I started to cry. I'm crying now. I don't know if I am crying because of what CS said or the situation at work. Maybe a combination of both. I want to be able to be joyful about the way things are going with CS, but I know with this cloud over me I can't really be. I understand what he was feeling a few months ago, and it makes me sad. I want us both to have the things in life we need in order to be able to enjoy the things we have.

My son told me today that God had brought CS into my life, and I was blessed for having him... A wise son indeed.

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